"Family Friction"
Sermon Presented August 7, 2005
Genesis 37:1-36
There aren't many families with more than one child that are free of jealousy. My sister Judy - the middle child - was convinced that she was the neglected one. I always pooh-poohed that idea until I was in my fifties and Dad told me: "You were always my favorite, and Terry was your mother's favorite." My comeback was, "But Dad, Judy always felt closest to you!" I wanted to say that I didn't want to hear that Mom loved my brother more than me because I always felt closest to Mom. I wanted to say that he should have loved Judy the most because she was the child who loved him the most! We all want to be considered special, but the knowledge that we are loved the most can be almost as unsettling as receiving a lesser love.
Parents often need to spend more time with a special needs child, and even when they handle it sensitively, the other children can resent it. When we adopted Kara, Gary was jealous because of the amount of attention she required. He even threatened to run away from home if we didn't fire the babysitter whom he felt neglected him and spent too much time with Kara. It's never easy being a parent - no matter what century you live in! Jacob - now named Israel, the father of 12 sons by four different wives - failed to understand the nuances of parenthood.
You see, Israel had a favorite - Joseph. Joseph was the first born of his favorite wife, Rachel. Joseph and his brother Benjamin were born to Israel late in life - like a second family. And this doting parent let everyone know that Joseph was his favorite! How? He made him a special long coat with long sleeves. Jacob, who as a child preferred spending time in the kitchen with his mother, made this coat as a gift to his special son! That's the way he had observed parenting in his childhood home where he was his mother's favorite, and his twin brother Esau was the favorite of his father. The cycle of favoritism continued.
Our text this morning is a classic story of favoritism, resulting in sibling jealousy. It's also a story of a dark response to that jealousy. This story of family friction is found in Genesis 37:1-36.
Jacob/Israel makes huge mistakes in dealing with his children. The sun rises and sets on Joseph and everyone knows it! The style of the special coat he made for Joseph - a long coat with long sleeves - may have been a sign of royalty. When Joseph wears the coat, everyone knows that he is most loved because none of his siblings has such an elegant garment. By demonstrating his special love for Joseph in this public manner, Israel is insensitive to the feelings of his other children, their mothers, and Joseph. Because it's unthinkable in that patriarchal society to show hatred toward your father, Joseph becomes the scapegoat for his brothers' anger.
And Joseph doesn't help the situation any! He tattles on his older brothers to his father and shares two dreams with them - dreams that indicate that he, Joseph, will rule over them. His insensitivity and arrogance wouldn't have endeared him to us any more than to his brothers.
Now the story turns dark. The scene is ripe for violence. The jealousy, anger and hatred that have been incubating for some time come to fruition when the brothers see Joseph coming toward them while they are tending the flocks.
Israel sent Joseph to check on them, and after a lengthy search, he finds them in Dothan. Guess what Joseph wears as his travel garment? You're right! He wears the symbol of his father's favoritism - the special robe. When his brothers spot him in the distance, hatred boils and they quickly hatch a plot to end his life. Between the time they sight Joseph and his actual arrival, the murder plan takes shape. Together they can do what they wouldn't even consider doing alone. By killing the dreamer, they can kill his dream!
However, Reuben - the oldest - proposes that instead of killing Joseph, they throw him in a dry abandoned cistern. Reuben plans to return later and rescue Joseph and return him to his father. When Joseph arrives, the brothers grab him, tear off the symbol of his father's preferential love and throw him into the pit.
Joseph must have been in shock because he had no idea of the depth of their hatred toward him. Later when a caravan approaches, Judah suggests they sell Joseph into slavery. So off he goes with the Midianites - or Ishmaelites. Both names are interchanged in the text - probably denoting two different sources put together. Those taking Joseph to Egypt are descendents of Ishmael - the son of Abraham and Keturah - a tribe that lives in the desert regions to the south and east of Canaan.
Now the brothers must cover their crime, so they dip the special coat in the blood of an animal and take it to their father. Without the benefit of DNA testing, the blood stained garment suggests to Israel that his beloved son met a violent death. It now appears that the jealousy and hatred of the brothers has triumphed over the profound love of the father, as well as over God's plans.
This crime doesn't just affect Joseph, who suffers physically and emotionally, everyone suffers! Joseph's parents are devastated! His brothers suffer from guilt! And God suffers! But even though sinful behavior frustrates God's purpose, it can't stop it. God can and will work, even through the enemy. This comes later. The only clue we have of another possibility is the final verse of our text: "Meanwhile the Midianites had sold him in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh's officials, the captain of the guard."
I won't ask you to raise your hands, but I'm sure that some here believe that a parent loved you less or more than a sibling and you may be correct. This is a particular danger in blended families. I try to be very conscious of BJ because of D. A.'s blended family. All children need the affirmation of a parent's or grandparent's love for them, especially the quiet one, the rebellious one or the one less gifted.
But envy or jealousy doesn't exist only in the vacuum of a biological family. Jealousy causes people to purchase more expensive homes than they can afford; have affairs with someone more attractive than their spouse; conspire to take another's job; or purchase things that place them in too much debt. Envy or jealousy often results in destructive behavior and/or emotional and spiritual damage. Because Joseph's brothers envied his place of honor with their father, they allowed their positive moral values to disintegrate. Because they didn't recognize and deal with their jealousy, they planned a murder.
Today, we read news accounts of people who allow envy to cause them to take destructive action. Recently a car dealer north of Milwaukee cut down about 50 trees on his neighbor's property so he would have a better view of Lake Michigan. He was prosecuted and convicted of the crime and now is facing punitive damages. We read of those who steal the identity of another so as to accumulate things that they can't afford. (Friday's Journal Sentinel told of a man who is suspected of luring his friend to his death after stealing his ID, in order to keep the theft a secret.) We continue to read of corporate and political fraud to gain more wealth. Granted, these are extreme examples and probably not a problem for anyone here, but no one is exempt from sin when we travel this path of envy.
It's clear that Joseph's dreams don't depend on his father or his brothers or even on Joseph. It's God's work! Even though Joseph is taken to Egypt as a slave, God doesn't abandon him or the dream. Ultimately, the jealousy of the brothers doesn't win. The dream prevails because the dream is from God.
Our story this morning continues a much longer tale of how God brings redemption through imperfect human relationships and imperfect people. It's a story that should encourage us. In this story sinful behavior doesn't destroy the sinners and it doesn't stymie God's purposes. The story ends with reconciliation between the brothers many years later. The story ends with Joseph's dreams being realized. The story ends with God being victorious. This is a story of hope for an imperfect humanity. It's a story of hope for us!
(Resource: Interpretation: Genesis by Walter Brueggemann, pp. 266-271)
