"Determined by Love - Determined to Love"
Sermon Presented May 7, 2006
I John 3:16-24
I don't know about you, but I often question my actions when it comes to giving financial aid to an individual. Did I do the right thing by denying help, was I scammed, or should I have done more? About a week before Easter, I received a call from a man who indicated he had a mental health problem that was interfering with him getting a job. He said that a former high school teacher was allowing him to live in a house he owned for only $50 a month, but he was behind in his rent and unless he could come up with the $50 that day, he would have to move.
I asked if he had checked with the mental health agencies, and he assured me he had exhausted all avenues. I mentioned local churches and he had already tried them. I told him that there was no money at church to give him, and he countered that with a large congregation, perhaps I could find some in the congregation who would help. I quickly squashed that picture of a large congregation.
While visiting, he indicated that he was miserable because he had a terrible toothache. I told him I knew a dentist who might be able to either take care of his problem or send him to a dental clinic that took patients who couldn't afford to pay for treatment. I gave him the dentist's name and telephone number.
Immediately after hanging up, I called the dentist's office to alert her to what I had done. I checked back a week later when I saw her at Rotary and the man never called. I concluded that this was a scam. How do we know when to give unconditionally and when to check further to make sure we use our resources wisely? We want concrete guidelines in order to do the right thing, and our only guide is love.
Our dilemma isn't new. The church to which the author of I John is writing must be lacking in love toward one another. Why else would this Christian pastor talk so much about love? The way to show love is to reach out to people with acts of love - which brings me back to my dilemma. Let's look at our text taken from I John 3:16-24. (Read text.)
We aren't sure who wrote this epistle, because like the Gospel of John, this letter is anonymous. But the style of the letter and the Gospel are so similar that we will assume that they were written by the same person.
The writer here urges - even commands the readers to love. He proposes that love is something we decide to do. He insists that our religious experience can't be separated from our conduct. And because it's impossible to command feelings of love, we understand that the verb is an action verb and means to do acts of love. We are commanded to do what isn't natural for humans! We aren't born with this ability - but the environment in which we are raised can make a difference. The key to loving others - to obeying Jesus' command - is to decide to do loving acts toward others.
The author of this letter emphasizes Jesus' command to love others as he loved them. To love as Jesus loved isn't a requirement to love only our friends and family. It's to love our enemies - to love those who treat us badly - to love those we have nothing in common with - to love those who have great financial needs. It's to look at people individually, in the face, sometimes opening up old wounds, remembering their injustices toward us, recognizing their needs, and wondering how in the world the command to love could come so easily for Jesus and for the author of this epistle and not for us.
It makes sense to me that Jesus might tell us to learn to live with each other despite our differences, or let bygones be bygones. We know it's not healthy to nurture our hurts forever. But the scripture says much more than that. Love one another - with no exceptions. It's not an option!
It's well recognized that when someone hurts us, they hurt us more than once. That's because we resurrect the hurts over and over again - whether in our minds or as we talk about them to others. We love to tell others how they have hurt us. We may not throw darts at their pictures, but we do throw barbs at them through our attitudes and our words.
When we have feelings of love for someone, we tend to think the best of them. We minimize their weaknesses, and their offenses are soon forgiven and forgotten. We try to see them in the very best light and search for mitigating circumstances! We ask ourselves: "I wonder what's going on in their life that caused them to respond that way?" or we try to figure out how we were complicit in the affront.
But once relationships turn antagonistic, we feel free to demonize them. Because they have wronged us, we go to war. In a state of war, we view them in as negative a light as we please. How we view our political enemies is right on target with this! If you are a Bush or Clinton or Doyle or Green supporter, you look favorably on what that politician does and says. If you aren't, nothing they say or do is right. When our feelings are strong and negative, our lives are affected negatively.
But First John tells us to love one another. This means that when we are wronged, we can't call off all moral bets. In fact, according to the author, it's when we feel strongly negative about a person in the face of perceived or actual affronts that our moral test to love clicks in. Elsewhere in scripture, we read that if we love those who love us, it means nothing. We must learn to love.
The Christian faith makes the moral demand that we love our enemies. In order to love our enemies, we must presuppose the good in them and try to see them differently, even though we are gritting our teeth and clenching our fists. And when this isn't possible - because some whom we demonize are beyond our realm of positive thinking, we must do acts of love toward them, such as pray for them.
How can we do this when the villain is someone we vehemently disagree with, someone who has hurt us deeply through an inhumane act toward us or a loved one, or someone we judge to be unworthy of our loving actions? How can we do love when there seems to be no place to begin - when we have no desire to be loving? How is it possible to exert super-human efforts to love? In other words, can we learn to do love?
First let me reiterate that "love" as commanded here is an action and not a feeling. We will never have feelings of love toward some people because everything they stand for is against our values. But we can learn to do love if we desire. For example, verse 17 says "If you see a brother or sister in need and don't help, how does God's love endure in you?" Here it's not talking about just withholding material goods, but withholding compassion.
We see from the writings in the Hebrew Scriptures as well as in the teachings of Jesus that we are to love God and love our neighbors. No matter how well we phrase our theology, it's lost on the world if love doesn't shape the way we speak and act. Believing without loving gives religion a bad name. Believing without loving destroys lives. Believing without loving turns the best creeds into oppressive weapons. When we don't act in love, we don't follow Jesus.
Scripture tells us that following Jesus in love is a way of life and not an option. Because it's the basis for discipleship, how do we begin?
We begin where we are - with those who affect us the most. We don't start with the slum lord, the drug dealer or the woman who murdered her cousin and then set fire to her house killing her two young children. We start with the neighbor, the politician, the relative, the associate, the school mate or the religious leader who yanks our chain in the worst way. We begin with the one who belittles us, criticizes us, hurts us or ignores us. Acting in love often begins with forgiveness, so we need to pray for a willingness to forgive.
When we sincerely seek wisdom and compassion from God, God will change us. So let's keep this commandment uppermost in our minds and hearts, believing that as we do loving acts toward others our attitudes toward them will change - and maybe - just maybe - their attitudes toward us will also change. Miracles do happen when we allow God to act in our lives, so let's begin today to be more loving. We will be changed and so will others. But more than that, the Kingdom of God on earth will expand tremendously in and through God's people.
