"Kindly Candor"
Sermon Presented August 13, 2006
Ephesians 4:25 - 5:2
Because I live in an apartment complex, I am expected to obey certain rules. These rules aren't for my benefit, but for the benefit of my neighbors. Don't run your vacuum, dishwasher, washer or dryer before 8:00 am or after 10:00 pm. Don't disturb your neighbors with loud TV, radio or music at any time. When residents act in offensive ways and it is reported to the management, the office contacts the offender. If rules continue to be disregarded, the tenant must move.
In last Tuesday's Journal Sentinel I read of Helen Keller and her daughter Mary Keller - both of whom are deaf. Helen and Mary live in a condo and their neighbors are complaining about the women's old, barking Chihuahua named Cheerio. Helen and Mary can't hear Cheerio, but the neighbors can and they want the noise stopped. (Sharon, a member of my congregation in Marysville lived on a farm and had a Chihuahua - Chico - who was also old and a barker. Chico left puddles on the carpet and barked vehemently whenever I came to visit. Before Sharon died, she had Chico put to sleep because she knew her husband wouldn't want to care for him, and besides, Chico would die of grief when she was gone.) People who love their pets adjust to their annoying habits, but others have little tolerance.
Just as communities need rules so that residents can live in peace, the early Christian Church needed rules. The writer of Ephesians lays down ethical admonitions for the Church which are just as valid today, as they were then. Hear the word to the Church as written in Ephesians 4:25 - 5:2.
In the early second century, the Roman governor of Bithynia wrote to the emperor Trajan to ask what imperial policy applied in the case of individuals hauled into court on charges of being a Christian. Pliny wrote that he had interrogated the accused, torturing the slaves among them, but could discover nothing more pernicious about them than that they gather early in the morning to sing hymns, eat a common meal of bread and wine, and "take an oath." Perplexed, the governor checked and found that this oath - in Latin, sacramentum - involved nothing wicked, simply a vow to avoid thievery and violence - rules that allowed the community to live in peace.
Today's text brings out this sacramental quality of the Christian gathering. There's nothing unusual here - just the description of a decent and honest life. The instruction is meant to serve as encouragement to a strong community ethos. The falsehood, anger, theft and slander cited here pertain to Christians - those who have pledged to follow Jesus.
As you may have noticed, more than half of these admonitions have to do with speech and its impact on relationships, and we all know that our speech can get us into real trouble! In this country, we constantly struggle over definitions of "free speech," "hate speech," and the like, but what is Christian speech? Want is sacramental living? The author of this letter says that Christians are to speak the truth, encourage one another, and refrain from slander and evil speech. They shouldn't take what doesn't belong to them - which could translate to cheating on income taxes or Internet crimes today. Instead of obsessing on angry thoughts, Christians are to be kind and forgive one another as God has forgiven. To put it in a nut shell, Christians are to imitate God - and since Jesus is the way we know and understand God, we imitate the love Christ showed to others.
Let me emphasize once again that these bits of kindly candor are for the benefit of the community. They aren't meant to be a hardship but rather a gift, so that individuals can live a good life together. These principles would benefit ANY community, but they should distinguish those who bear the name Christian.
Most people today believe that women and minorities shouldn't have to put up with verbal attacks or harassment at work. When specific laws against offensive speech aren't delineated, perhaps Christians should contribute more to cleaning the verbal air. Christian speech doesn't mean we verbally assault others with our religion. It does mean that Christians are called to a higher standard of speech than most of us practice.
We desire peace in our relationships but often aren't willing to act to make peace a reality. We criticize and condemn those we don't try to understand. We allow anger, untruth, and evil speech to pollute the airwaves.
I want to take you back to my apartment building. Gossip is the #1 passion where I live. Stories and conversations are repeated and with each repetition, the facts change. It reminds me of the game "Gossip" that I played as a Girl Scout, where one person started the game by whispering a sentence to the person next to her, and each in turn, whispered it to another. By the time the sentence came back to the one who originated it, there was no similarity to the original statement. We aren't always careful about the words we speak - sometimes embellishing them and sometimes distorting the truth completely in translation. Sinful words disrupt community.
In our text, we have a model of perfection that none of us measures up to. So the way I see it, we Christians have an obligation to decide where we need the greatest change and then begin working on it - one thing at a time. I firmly believe that when the Church sets a model for right behavior - when we truly live as we should - we can influence our community in a powerful way.
I am already sick of the political ads for the governor's race and the politicking has just begun. Each candidate is more than a single issue, and each is a mixture of good and bad, but according to the messages presented, the candidate attacked is all bad. Most politicians on the state and federal levels don't want to work together and refuse to work with those who believe differently in order to accomplish a greater good. (Last Tuesday, we saw what happened to a Democratic Senator who appeared to be too cooperative with the Republican President.) A lack of cooperation occurs in churches and denominations, just as it does in legislative bodies. People want to win - not compromise.
When my son Gary was in the Missouri State Legislature, he was explaining to me some of his political maneuvering in order to get a bill passed. When he mentioned that he traded a vote with another legislator, I said: "Gary, how could you have voted for that bill? It's against everything you believe." He answered, "Mom, his bill wouldn't have passed anyway, and I need his vote to pass my bill." Politicians can't do that today because a politician's vote will be used against him or her in political ads in future elections.
People tend to use others in order to accomplish their goals. We don't look for the good in people who are of a different persuasion, nor do we want to work with them. The attitude is: "I'm right and you're wrong, so I will oppose you with every ounce of strength I can muster." We don't offer kindly candor in the shape of dialogue - we just offer opposition, strife, criticism, anger, evil speech and untruths.
The world would be a much better place if we looked for the good in others and then affirmed that good with our words. Too much time is spent on negativity - looking for points of contention that build barriers rather than bridges to healthy relationships.
One of my sons commented that his father was a master at giving a compliment and then taking it back in the next breath. People don't remember compliments that are followed by criticism.
The writer of our text gives reasons for the admonitions. Why be truthful? Because we are members of one another. Why get rid of anger? Because if you don't, evil will slip into your heart. Why give up stealing? Because when we work honestly, we will have enough to share with the needy. (There's no place for Robin Hood here!) Why refrain from evil speech? Because people need encouragement and grace through our words - this rule tempers our truth-telling. Why do good? Because to do otherwise grieves God's Holy Spirit. Now we get to the crux of the teaching! How do we put away evil and become kind and forgiving? We do it by imitating God - showing love and forgiveness. It all comes back to love.
The rules laid down in this text are just as valid for relationships with our families, communities, and fellow workers as they are for the Church. We need to practice them in all of our communities. They aren't the Puritanical rules that many of us grew up with - don't drink, smoke, dance, cuss, play cards - admonitions that tended to take joy from our lives, but these rules affect our life in community. Let's make it a priority to do a self examination to see how we can become more like Christ. Let's make love of God and love of neighbors our top priorities! That will make a difference in all of our relationships in all of our communities. Amen!
