"Forgiveness: A Reflection of God's Grace"
Sermon Presented Easter, March 23, 2008
(Multiple brief scripture references)
In September of 2002, Sr. Helen Prejean, author of Dead Man Walking, spoke at William Jewell College - my alma mater. Prejean ministers to people on death row, as well as to the families of their victims. A call to forgiveness is her mantra.
Lloyd LeBlanc, the father of one victim, took Prejean to the place where his son's body was found, and told her that hatred and bitterness were eating him alive, and he couldn't continue living like this. "They are not going to kill me, too," he said. He prayed to be given the grace to be able to forgive, and God's grace met him there. Prejean says that LeBlanc is the real hero of Dead Man Walking. (Alumnae publication fall/winter 2002, p. 18)
God's grace working through us gives us the ability to do things we didn't believe we could do, the ability to forgive what was most hurtful to us. The gift of God's grace - the gift of forgiveness - is available to all who diligently seek it.
The French have a saying that I can only properly say in English: "To understand all is to forgive all." This quote calls us to use our minds - our understanding - as keys to compassion. When we look for the causes of an offense, we see the offender more clearly. When we try to understand, we see that the person is much like us, only shaped by different circumstances. When we can honestly say: "There but for the grace of God go I" we offer grace to the offender. (Garret Keizer, The Enigma of Anger, p. 246)
The apostle Paul opened and closed his correspondence with these words: "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." When we look at a Bible dictionary, we see that grace means acceptance or a lack of condemnation or undeserved favor. Forgiveness is a reflection of God's grace working in people. When we offer forgiveness to others or when we receive it from another, our minds and souls can break free from guilt, remorse, anger or shame. When we forgive, we allow God to work in and through us for our own healing and the healing of the one we have forgiven. We are now free to love - free to live.
On this Easter Sunday, we focus on Jesus' resurrection - on God's raising him to new life. The resurrected Jesus spoke "Peace be with you" when he appeared to his disciples. Peace is the absence of turmoil. When we forgive, we find peace. Our inner turmoil dissipates.
Resurrection is a transformation from one form to another - from death to life. Jesus didn't have the same form following his resurrection as he had before. After resurrection, he could walk through doors and vanish suddenly. When we forgive, we are also transformed - physically, emotionally and spiritually! We are healthier, happier and more in touch with God.
Forgiveness is more than a skill or a new way of feeling or behaving. Forgiveness can actually change our sense of identity - our sense of who we are. Now we are no longer the victim of others or of our past. We are no longer defined by certain events that may have occurred years ago. As we change how we think, feel, and behave, our very sense of self is transformed. (Robert Enright, Forgiveness is a Choice, pp. 273, 74)
The gospels point to a connection between forgiveness and resurrection. When the risen Christ appears to the women, he asks them to inform his disciples "and Peter," thus affirming that in spite of Peter's denial that he even knows Jesus, Jesus has forgiven him. Forgiveness doesn't come naturally any more than a dead man rises naturally. To forgive requires faith just as to believe that Christ rose from the dead requires faith. (Keiser, p. 248)
Forgiveness transforms our anger. When we forgive, we emerge from a prison of fear and hatred with a desire to knock down the walls. When we forgive, we walk through walls - just as the resurrected Christ did. (Ibid. p. 249)
Through forgiveness, we receive grace (unmerited favor) from God - and from others - and we give grace to others. Forgiveness isn't something we earn - it's a gift that we either give or receive. We don't demand contrition, and we don't bring up the offense again and again. We offer forgiveness as a gift - no strings attached - and then we move on with our lives. Paul tells the church at Ephesus to "Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you" (4:31-32.) We are to forgive others as God forgives us! That's a tall order!
The scars of some are much deeper than those of others because of their past experience. Many Native Americans, African Americans and Jews in America have deep wounds because of their ethnicity. Sidney Poitier tells of an experience he had as a teenager living in Miami - a wound that was delivered because of his race. He went to pick up his clothes at the dry cleaners for a trip out of town the next day and discovered his order wasn't ready. He was told that if he went to the plant, he could get it. He took the bus across town, but when he arrived at the plant - in a white section of town, the order wasn't ready, and by then the buses had stopped running.
He was attempting to hitchhike home when an unmarked police car stopped. He was directed to an alley where a gun was pointed at his head. He tried to explain about the clothes at the cleaners while the threats of the police officers got meaner as their questions intensified. Finally, one of the policemen asked him if he could walk all the way home without once looking back. Poitier agreed under the threat of being shot. The car stayed right behind him as he walked the 50 blocks home.
As Poitier walked, he raged over the injustice of his treatment. But then he began to consider the value of character and toughness of mind. He looked at the injustice - not as an excuse to take revenge - but as a time to confront his hurts in a new way because he knew he couldn't live with his anger. (The Measure of a Man, p. 131 ff) (It amazes me that this mature thinking came from a 16-year-old boy.)
Gregory Jones, Dean of Duke Divinity School, writes that even though the goal in many cases of forgiveness is reconciliation, reconciliation isn't always possible or advisable. Reconciliation requires two or more people to be fully responsive and we can't control the other's response. Not everything is fixable! Over time, when we remain open to God's grace, reconciliation may occur. We have seen reconciliation in large social systems such as during the Truth and Reconciliation hearings in South Africa, and in the willingness to forgive by family members of the Amish children who were murdered in Iowa. Reconciliation is less something we achieve than it is space we help create that allows God's grace to move. Our task is to tend the soil in which reconciliation can blossom - in God's time rather than ours. (Christian Century, 1/29/08, p. 35)
Last Monday, my sister called to wish me "Happy Birthday". In the course of the conversation, she mentioned that she has lost 20 pounds since October by going back to Weight Watchers and exercising. I decided right then that if Judy can do it, so can I. (My goal is less lofty - only 10 pounds!) I have known for years that I needed to lose weight, exercise and eat healthy. But Judy gave me the inspiration to begin now! In the last 5 days, I have walked and eaten more veggies and no bread or sweets. I plan to eat dessert at my post-birthday celebration with my neighbors, but that's it! When I go to Spain with my grandson this summer, I will have more energy and less weight. During that conversation with Judy, I had an epiphany moment - an old understanding was resurrected and I made a decision.
During the Lenten season we have talked almost exclusively about forgiveness. All of my sermons have focused on it. This is my final plea to make a decision on this vital topic! Now is the time to begin the process of forgiveness by forgiving one person you need to forgive. Decide that you will no longer be a slave to your hurts, angers and disappointments. Remember, we don't forgive for the sake of the other, but for our sake. When we refuse to forgive, we die on the inside: we are eaten up on the inside. When we take forgiveness seriously, we discover God's resurrection power in our lives. Remember, forgiveness is a choice! What will you choose today?
